What is LOVE ?
It seems as though the topic of discussion on modern dating is non existent in many conversations. However the matter does in fact exist. As intricate as this discussion may seem, allow me to state my opinion on why most relationship do not work out in this era.
Without a doubt, music is a major part of our daily lives. In some ways music can influence certain individuals more than others because of the lyrics. When half of the songs on the radio are rapping about ‘Fu*k that B*tch’ and going in to detail about how these “Hoes” ain’t loyal, then people will actually start believing it. Now granted many of these “Hoes” may not be loyal; however, that is not to say that all females are hoes and all are not loyal. Often times I imagine myself being the age I am now in the 90s, where it seemed like love existed. When the to lyrics to a song had meaning. It almost made you want to fall in love. Growing up in this generation I often find myself questioning what love really is. Music plays a vital part in our daily lives, it is supposed to inspire and uplift in most cases, but if a large percentage is doing the opposite than it has an even larger impact on the way an individual may view a relationship.
While I feel music is a huge part of failed relationships, it also has to do with fear. In this generation we are very sensitive beings; once you’ve been hurt once or even twice, it’s very difficult to trust again. I bare witness to this, and many of my closest friends have as well. Relationships can be so temporary these day which makes it more challenging to want to jump back into something you feel is going to end. This develops trust issues, walls and barriers as high as the sky, and guards shielding your heart from further damage. We are used to switching it up, rarely are there relations where you can find yourself being in for a long period of time. Sadly we’ve become accustomed to these “situationships.”
Although these are facts, you will never know until you try. With every failed relationship that you have encountered in your life, take it as a lesson learned. People are specifically placed on your life to help YOU develop YOURSELF. If your’re feeling nervous and timid it is important to be choosy about the people you decide to spend your time with. Not everyone you come across is the one, and not every one you come across is a hoe, a liar, or a cheater. We dwell on these ridiculous “relationship goals” on twitter and instagram without even trying to develop our own personal goals. Not every relationship is the same and honestly you have no idea what occurs behind those perfectly photographed pictures. This may sound contradicting, but relationships are ALWAYS complicated no matter the circumstance is. But when it’s meant to be it will be. If you notice signs from a previous situation take that as an opportunity to quickly address it or get out immediately. There’s nothing worse than knowing there’s an issue and not addressing it head on. Then feelings get involved and you have another heartbreak on your list. Be VIGILANT, Be SMART.
Lastly In this generation we lack PATIENCE. We are all guilty of wondering when we are going to meet Mr./Mrs RIGHT NOW. Honestly we have to live with the fact that they may not come tomorrow and they may not even come this year. But either way THEY WILL COME ! We often seek too much out of a relationship that does not require our valuable time. We must stop thinking that everyone we encounter is The ONE. Now I’m am NOT a relationship expert; however, I have been through some rough patches in my journey to find “THE ONE,” and in many cases I have stumbled. With all that I’ve been through, I have gained an substantial amount of knowledge to further my quest and HOPEFULLY assist someone in need.
The most important resource is to seek a relationship with a higher power, whomever that may be to you. Seeking a higher power can lead to a development for yourself which will then allow things to seamlessly fall in to place. Also do not be afraid to date around, it is completely harmless to go on dates and talk to different people in order to figure out what and who is best for you. However keep it cute and set some standards and morals. Do not commit so easily and do not feel pressured into doing so. Take time for yourself get to know YOU, and never seek approval or validation from anyone EVER. Be Self- validated. As woman we need to value ourselves and know you’re worth is more precious than any relationship (BUT THAT’S ANOTHER CONVERSATION .. LOL).
So don’t live by the lyrics you hear on the radio, its pure entertainment. Half of those artist are in a relationship anyway lol. 90s babies, as we enter into our 20s this is our time to make mistakes. All of those teenage heartbreaks, that was just a warm-up; life has just started. Discover yourself before you can discover someone else and this is the PERFECT time to do so.